So much incredible healing and growth has transpired since my last blog post that it's overwhelming to know what to write. I have allowed that to keep me from writing anything at all, in typical fashion. Recovering from childhood trauma that carried into adult life is not a linear process. Suffering through the pandemic, finding … Continue reading Trusting Your Gut; Which Voice Guides You?
I did not wake up intending to write this today. As a matter of fact, I sat down to write about something completely different that has been begging for release, something much more uplifting, as it deals with the little miracles I have been uncovering in the midst of my trauma recovery. This though... Blindsided. … Continue reading WHEN THERAPY IS RE-TRAUMATIZING
I have a great business idea that someone needs to create. You know how there are Doulas to help out new mothers? There needs to be such a thing as a mental health Doula who will come to you for a week or two, say around 10-4, and help you to recover after a particularly … Continue reading A Mental Health Doula?
The greatest thing about blogging is that there is no pressure. It was the best step for me as a longtime journal writer who never wrote continuously in one at a time, but several. One journal may contain a small period of time, but from beginning to end it can span a decade or more. … Continue reading Writing From The WOMB
I had the incredible opportunity to go on a night ride with a couple of friends on Thursday, under the last full moon of this decade occurring at 12:12 on the date of 12:12. It came following a day of intense emotional out cries due to family dysfunction, which I released with the same force … Continue reading Wrapping Up A Decade; Freefalling Into Darkness and Seeing The Light
I found this most delightful treasure while beach combing in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. It was a glorious morning and you can't imagine the joy this brought me. God is said, in the Bible, to know exactly how many hairs are on our head. I don't doubt it. I mean, He IS all-knowing … Continue reading The Elephant In The Room Is At Your Feet
Breath; it is the essence of life, yet such an easy thing to take for granted. I have experienced emotional suffering so intense that it left me gasping for air. The deepest breaths I ever took were in pushing new life into this world, and it is that child who knocks the wind right out … Continue reading The Breakdown
When I was a little girl I was very passionate about two things; horses and dolls. I dreamed of riding the neighbor's pony, Brownie, all by myself through the thicket that lead to the path that would lead to a magical place deep in the woods, called Charles Island (or Childs Island). In that … Continue reading A Doll and Pony Show
When the bed covers feel like lead covers and the solace of sleep soothes enough to quiet the relentless courtship of fear (and death) and unquenchable sorrow until the cycle starts again tomorrow- This is my "in-between" And it is a lonely place Though my isolation is self-imposed A rose doesn't need other roses to … Continue reading The Solace of Sleep
It was a cold day that had started out sunny. I knew there was a 100% chance of rain later, but nothing could take away my joyful anticipation. A group of riders were meeting at the farm to grab our horses, get tacked up by 10am, and have an off-site excursion to a friend's place, … Continue reading The Day I Rested My Boots By The Fire
Are you stuck having "one of those days" ? I'm talking you feel splayed out, face down, overwhelmed, every single day? Let me ask you another question... Have you felt hopeless and paralyzed for so long that you cannot even remember the last time you were at peace with your life and the choices you make? Oh … Continue reading It’s Like This
I found this piece of art at the thrift store today. It spoke to me. I told it to STFU.
Depression is often like shadow boxing; it creeps up on me, and lingers just out of site, but I know there is a menacing presence from which I must defend myself. This is a shadow that can manifest on the cloudiest of days while disappearing altogether when it's sunny. It plays tricks like that, making … Continue reading Not So Swell at The Bottom of The Well