Something Wicked This Way Comes I found this picture of myself from twelve years ago. It jarred me. I think I recognized something that I was unable to see at that time. ( in addition to wow! talk about a good hair day! ) As a survivor of Complex PTSD I have lived my entire … Continue reading Looking In The Rear-View Mirror
Lately, I've become aware of ways that I have, at times unconsciously, sabotaged myself throughout my life. Coming from a background of early childhood trauma, everything that happens gets filtered through a survival lens. Instead of the beautiful freedom of living to express the uniqueness of who I am and how my talents play into … Continue reading THE BIG PICTURE
So much incredible healing and growth has transpired since my last blog post that it's overwhelming to know what to write. I have allowed that to keep me from writing anything at all, in typical fashion. Recovering from childhood trauma that carried into adult life is not a linear process. Suffering through the pandemic, finding … Continue reading Trusting Your Gut; Which Voice Guides You?
I did not wake up intending to write this today. As a matter of fact, I sat down to write about something completely different that has been begging for release, something much more uplifting, as it deals with the little miracles I have been uncovering in the midst of my trauma recovery. This though... Blindsided. … Continue reading WHEN THERAPY IS RE-TRAUMATIZING
Are you running from shadows that are not even your own, but instead are being projected onto you from collective negative energies, long past? Where does one even begin to suspect that such a thing is occurring? I feel a divine breakthrough transpired to open my eyes to this because my brain has been at … Continue reading Was As If I Were; Were As If I Was
People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson I watched a documentary called "I AM" which beautifully illustrates the connective nature of all living things, and the power of our capacity as humans, to love, and affect change with that love, as … Continue reading On Character ; (or, I am A Character)
The greatest thing about blogging is that there is no pressure. It was the best step for me as a longtime journal writer who never wrote continuously in one at a time, but several. One journal may contain a small period of time, but from beginning to end it can span a decade or more. … Continue reading Writing From The WOMB
I had the incredible opportunity to go on a night ride with a couple of friends on Thursday, under the last full moon of this decade occurring at 12:12 on the date of 12:12. It came following a day of intense emotional out cries due to family dysfunction, which I released with the same force … Continue reading Wrapping Up A Decade; Freefalling Into Darkness and Seeing The Light
I found this most delightful treasure while beach combing in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. It was a glorious morning and you can't imagine the joy this brought me. God is said, in the Bible, to know exactly how many hairs are on our head. I don't doubt it. I mean, He IS all-knowing … Continue reading The Elephant In The Room Is At Your Feet
About twenty three years ago, I worked as a horse trainer apprentice and barn manager at a Quarter Horse farm. I had answered a classified ad in the paper after my job as lead singer in a house band aboard a dinner cruise ship had just ended. I went from dressing fancy six nights a … Continue reading Honey; Weaving A Tapestry of Healing Out of the Threads That Connect the Past to the Present
"Let's leave Jesus out of this, 'cause me and Jesus are good. "
And he has the gall to ask me if I "really wanna go there?"
Oh yes, I really do, and I just did.
I love this artist's simple, gestural drawings and words of inspiration. This particular one has caused me to reflect on the impact that one horse has made in my healing journey. It's no secret that I have a special love for one horse above all others. Ta Sunka Witco came into my life 2 years … Continue reading The Horse Who Showed Me The Way
Breath; it is the essence of life, yet such an easy thing to take for granted. I have experienced emotional suffering so intense that it left me gasping for air. The deepest breaths I ever took were in pushing new life into this world, and it is that child who knocks the wind right out … Continue reading The Breakdown
Spilling my guts out in near-gritty detail was like going through hard labor and ending up having to get an emergency c-section. I have been recovering ever since. I had a professor in college whose work I loved, and who I enjoyed, partially because of his laid-back yet engaging way of teaching, (Printmaking and Design) … Continue reading Naked In The Grocery Store
It was a cold day that had started out sunny. I knew there was a 100% chance of rain later, but nothing could take away my joyful anticipation. A group of riders were meeting at the farm to grab our horses, get tacked up by 10am, and have an off-site excursion to a friend's place, … Continue reading The Day I Rested My Boots By The Fire
I remember sitting in the Baptist church that I occasionally attended in my early 20's and the intense feelings that would come over me during the altar call. It was like my body heated up and there were bees buzzing through my veins. Not an uncomfortable sensation, it was an urgency within my spirit, a … Continue reading Choosing Your Door
Are you stuck having "one of those days" ? I'm talking you feel splayed out, face down, overwhelmed, every single day? Let me ask you another question... Have you felt hopeless and paralyzed for so long that you cannot even remember the last time you were at peace with your life and the choices you make? Oh … Continue reading It’s Like This
A secret place tucked away in the woods Where I would sit alone A tree-shaped arbor as a door Small pool to a stream with a waterfall And a mossy green rock, my throne Soothed by the wonder Of birds and trees A child torn asunder Learned to call nature her home. Faith was never … Continue reading Threads