Something Wicked This Way Comes I found this picture of myself from twelve years ago. It jarred me. I think I recognized something that I was unable to see at that time. ( in addition to wow! talk about a good hair day! ) As a survivor of Complex PTSD I have lived my entire … Continue reading Looking In The Rear-View Mirror
Tag: Mental Health
WHEN THERAPY IS RE-TRAUMATIZING
I did not wake up intending to write this today. As a matter of fact, I sat down to write about something completely different that has been begging for release, something much more uplifting, as it deals with the little miracles I have been uncovering in the midst of my trauma recovery. This though... Blindsided. … Continue reading WHEN THERAPY IS RE-TRAUMATIZING
A Mental Health Doula?
I have a great business idea that someone needs to create. You know how there are Doulas to help out new mothers? There needs to be such a thing as a mental health Doula who will come to you for a week or two, say around 10-4, and help you to recover after a particularly … Continue reading A Mental Health Doula?
Writing From The WOMB
The greatest thing about blogging is that there is no pressure. It was the best step for me as a longtime journal writer who never wrote continuously in one at a time, but several. One journal may contain a small period of time, but from beginning to end it can span a decade or more. … Continue reading Writing From The WOMB
Wrapping Up A Decade; Freefalling Into Darkness and Seeing The Light
I had the incredible opportunity to go on a night ride with a couple of friends on Thursday, under the last full moon of this decade occurring at 12:12 on the date of 12:12. It came following a day of intense emotional out cries due to family dysfunction, which I released with the same force … Continue reading Wrapping Up A Decade; Freefalling Into Darkness and Seeing The Light
Honey; Weaving A Tapestry of Healing Out of the Threads That Connect the Past to the Present
About twenty three years ago, I worked as a horse trainer apprentice and barn manager at a Quarter Horse farm. I had answered a classified ad in the paper after my job as lead singer in a house band aboard a dinner cruise ship had just ended. I went from dressing fancy six nights a … Continue reading Honey; Weaving A Tapestry of Healing Out of the Threads That Connect the Past to the Present
The Horse Who Showed Me The Way
I love this artist's simple, gestural drawings and words of inspiration. This particular one has caused me to reflect on the impact that one horse has made in my healing journey. It's no secret that I have a special love for one horse above all others. Ta Sunka Witco came into my life 2 years … Continue reading The Horse Who Showed Me The Way
Complex PTSD; Anatomy of a Trigger
I have wanted to talk about triggers, the anatomy of a panic attack, and what that looks like for me as a person living with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, for some time. Having been feeling very optimistic and experiencing a beautiful reprieve that drastically improved my attitude and strength was so blissful that I … Continue reading Complex PTSD; Anatomy of a Trigger
The Breakdown
Breath; it is the essence of life, yet such an easy thing to take for granted. I have experienced emotional suffering so intense that it left me gasping for air. The deepest breaths I ever took were in pushing new life into this world, and it is that child who knocks the wind right out … Continue reading The Breakdown
The Wheel of Misfortune
I remember the TV commercial jingle that said "You will learn about life when you play the Game of LIFE." Is irony the word I'm looking for here? I'm 52 and still trying to figure out life. Playing the board game, filling up my little car with tiny pink plastic pegs, did nothing to help … Continue reading The Wheel of Misfortune
A Doll and Pony Show
When I was a little girl I was very passionate about two things; horses and dolls. I dreamed of riding the neighbor's pony, Brownie, all by myself through the thicket that lead to the path that would lead to a magical place deep in the woods, called Charles Island (or Childs Island). In that … Continue reading A Doll and Pony Show
Choosing Your Door
I remember sitting in the Baptist church that I occasionally attended in my early 20's and the intense feelings that would come over me during the altar call. It was like my body heated up and there were bees buzzing through my veins. Not an uncomfortable sensation, it was an urgency within my spirit, a … Continue reading Choosing Your Door
It’s Like This
Are you stuck having "one of those days" ? I'm talking you feel splayed out, face down, overwhelmed, every single day? Let me ask you another question... Have you felt hopeless and paralyzed for so long that you cannot even remember the last time you were at peace with your life and the choices you make? Oh … Continue reading It’s Like This
Not So Swell at The Bottom of The Well
Depression is often like shadow boxing; it creeps up on me, and lingers just out of site, but I know there is a menacing presence from which I must defend myself. This is a shadow that can manifest on the cloudiest of days while disappearing altogether when it's sunny. It plays tricks like that, making … Continue reading Not So Swell at The Bottom of The Well
V is 4 Voice 