Here I am in Autumn—my birth month, my sanctuary, my season of truth-telling.The air cools, the leaves flare into their last brilliant blaze, and something inside me settles. Have you ever stopped to wonder why you love one season and resist another?While Autumn is my haven, Spring has always carried the scent of sorrow. But … Continue reading Be Brave Enough To Walk Away From What’s Killing You, Even If It Looks Like Safety
Tag: Healing
The Wish and the Weaver
A perfect day unraveled. A walk through grief. And the white spider who stopped me from making a wish because—maybe—I’d already made it with my life.
The Journey is Inward
And it goes way beyond the limited comprehension of our physical minds which are run by the ego on old programs connected to our 5 limited senses. We are not our thoughts and feelings but the creative force behind them, the observer.When we set the intentions of our mind to being a nuetral watcher of … Continue reading The Journey is Inward
Christianity and the Wide Berth of Death and Destruction in It’s Wake
I dream of a world where children's beauty and innocence can shine without being shred to pieces and stripped away by the wicked desires of perversion and evil that lurk in the shadows and mask brilliantly in the spotlight. I wish I could ignore the idea that there is such darkness, but having survived and … Continue reading Christianity and the Wide Berth of Death and Destruction in It’s Wake
What If
Waking up in a state of fear that is not at all in alignment with the state of reverent gratitude that now permeates my waking hours, I realized the wise solution is to invite it to sit and allow it to speak. Knowing I am the Queen of my kingdom(my physical body), I pronounce that … Continue reading What If
A Tiny Snapshot from July 2, 2011
I'm not sure if it was the high, tinkling, meloncholic piano music from the Lifetime movie I was watching, or the inevitability of my own sensitivity combined with a sudden, overwhelming recognition of my mortality that caused me such sadness today. It happened after I spoke with my mother on the phone. She mentioned to … Continue reading A Tiny Snapshot from July 2, 2011
Looking In The Rear-View Mirror
Something Wicked This Way Comes I found this picture of myself from twelve years ago. It jarred me. I think I recognized something that I was unable to see at that time. ( in addition to wow! talk about a good hair day! ) As a survivor of Complex PTSD I have lived my entire … Continue reading Looking In The Rear-View Mirror
Trusting Your Gut; Which Voice Guides You?
So much incredible healing and growth has transpired since my last blog post that it's overwhelming to know what to write. I have allowed that to keep me from writing anything at all, in typical fashion. Recovering from childhood trauma that carried into adult life is not a linear process. Suffering through the pandemic, finding … Continue reading Trusting Your Gut; Which Voice Guides You?
WHEN THERAPY IS RE-TRAUMATIZING
I did not wake up intending to write this today. As a matter of fact, I sat down to write about something completely different that has been begging for release, something much more uplifting, as it deals with the little miracles I have been uncovering in the midst of my trauma recovery. This though... Blindsided. … Continue reading WHEN THERAPY IS RE-TRAUMATIZING
Was As If I Were; Were As If I Was
Are you running from shadows that are not even your own, but instead are being projected onto you from collective negative energies, long past? Where does one even begin to suspect that such a thing is occurring? I feel a divine breakthrough transpired to open my eyes to this because my brain has been at … Continue reading Was As If I Were; Were As If I Was
Writing From The WOMB
The greatest thing about blogging is that there is no pressure. It was the best step for me as a longtime journal writer who never wrote continuously in one at a time, but several. One journal may contain a small period of time, but from beginning to end it can span a decade or more. … Continue reading Writing From The WOMB
Honey; Weaving A Tapestry of Healing Out of the Threads That Connect the Past to the Present
About twenty three years ago, I worked as a horse trainer apprentice and barn manager at a Quarter Horse farm. I had answered a classified ad in the paper after my job as lead singer in a house band aboard a dinner cruise ship had just ended. I went from dressing fancy six nights a … Continue reading Honey; Weaving A Tapestry of Healing Out of the Threads That Connect the Past to the Present
The Horse Who Showed Me The Way
I love this artist's simple, gestural drawings and words of inspiration. This particular one has caused me to reflect on the impact that one horse has made in my healing journey. It's no secret that I have a special love for one horse above all others. Ta Sunka Witco came into my life 2 years … Continue reading The Horse Who Showed Me The Way
Complex PTSD; Anatomy of a Trigger
I have wanted to talk about triggers, the anatomy of a panic attack, and what that looks like for me as a person living with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, for some time. Having been feeling very optimistic and experiencing a beautiful reprieve that drastically improved my attitude and strength was so blissful that I … Continue reading Complex PTSD; Anatomy of a Trigger
Naked In The Grocery Store
Spilling my guts out in near-gritty detail was like going through hard labor and ending up having to get an emergency c-section. I have been recovering ever since. I had a professor in college whose work I loved, and who I enjoyed, partially because of his laid-back yet engaging way of teaching, (Printmaking and Design) … Continue reading Naked In The Grocery Store
The Wheel of Misfortune
I remember the TV commercial jingle that said "You will learn about life when you play the Game of LIFE." Is irony the word I'm looking for here? I'm 52 and still trying to figure out life. Playing the board game, filling up my little car with tiny pink plastic pegs, did nothing to help … Continue reading The Wheel of Misfortune
The Day I Rested My Boots By The Fire
It was a cold day that had started out sunny. I knew there was a 100% chance of rain later, but nothing could take away my joyful anticipation. A group of riders were meeting at the farm to grab our horses, get tacked up by 10am, and have an off-site excursion to a friend's place, … Continue reading The Day I Rested My Boots By The Fire
V is 4 Voice 